how to manipulate a manipulator in a relationship? have you’ve ever felt like something is off in a relationship or casual encounter have you felt like you’re being pressured, managed, or even feel like you’re questioning yourself more than usual, it could possibly be manipulation.
There are a lot of completely different types of manipulation, starting from a pushy salesperson to an emotionally abusive partner and a few behaviors are simpler to identify than others.
so in today’s post, we will see how to manipulate the manipulator in your relationship, after reading this post you will be able to give them a taste of their medicine 😉
Start by knowing when you are manipulated by a manipulator
So 1st of all you have to know when you are being manipulated by a manipulator in your relationship, these are signs that you are being manipulated :
1. When you’re feeling worried, obligated, and guilty
Manipulative behaviors include three elements: worry, obligation and guilt. “When you’re being manipulated by somebody you might be psychologically forced into doing something you probably don’t actually wish to do.
An individual who’s targeted by manipulators who play the victim usually attempts to assist the manipulator in an effort to stop the feeling of guilt. Targets of this sort of manipulation usually really feel answerable for serving the victim by doing everything in their power to stop the feeling of guilt
2. when you are questioning yourself a lot.
Manipulation that causes individuals to doubt themselves, their reality, memory, or thoughts is known as “gaslighting.” According to Stines, a manipulative person may twist your words to make it about them, hijack the conversation, or make you feel guilty when you aren’t sure you have done anything wrong.
if you’re being gaslighted, you could experience a false feeling of guilt or defensiveness, as if you’ve failed utterly or must have done something wrong when, in fact, that s not the case.
What are the types of manipulators in a relationship you might ask?
There are two types of manipulators: “the bully” and “the victim.”
A bully makes you feel fearful and would possibly use aggression, threats, and intimidation to regulate you,
The victim engenders a sense of guilt in order to achieve their goal. “The victim normally acts hurt”. However, manipulators usually play the victim, because they find it more practical for them.
Manipulating the manipulator
now let s dive into the juicy part and talk about how to manipulate the manipulator in the relationship, before you start reading the following steps you should know that it’s necessary to understand them.
First of all, in order to be a good manipulator you need to start by making his manipulation techniques ineffective so you need to do this :
Control your emotions
These manipulators try to make you feel unpleasant emotions: guilt, shame, fear, etc.
Don’t be fooled, and try to see clearly in the manipulator game. Understand that this unpleasant feeling, know that what you are experiencing is only due to the effect of the manipulator.
Understand how the manipulator managed to make you feel these emotions. And hold on for a few seconds to think, and make your decision regardless of those emotions.
Learn to say no
You need to learn to say no, without justifying yourself.
To Master this, you can use the broken record technique. This technique consists of repeating the same sentence, calmly and patiently, each time the manipulator insists. This sentence, for example: “I fully understand you, but no ” just this sentence if used repeatedly and calmly can throw the manipulator off their game
Once your partners manipulation techniques are rendered ineffective, its the time to strick back 😉
Before you read the following techniques you should keep in mind that manipulation works by inciting emotional reactions in your partner, so try your best to play on the emotions “this should be easy because I assume that you know the person you’re having a relationship with ” Emotions are key to guarantee the effectiveness of these techniques :
Gaslighting is a psychological technique during which a person or a group makes someone doubt their sanity, reality perception, or memory. Gaslighting leaves victims feeling befuddled, nervous, and unable to trust themselves.
this technique is very dangerous because if used correctly it can gradually lower the partner’s self-esteem which can cause them to become completely dependent on the manipulator in all their big decisions, which essentially make turn them into a toy in the hands of the manipulator
Minimizing And Magnifying
In this form of emotional manipulation, the manipulator downplays their own flaws while exaggerating yours. It might be something as minor as forgetting an item at the supermarket, yet your spouse will chastise you and make you feel like a failure.
just like the previous one this technique also plays on the self-esteem of the victim to gradually control, essentially the manipulators try to make his partner believe that he is largely superior to the point that his world becomes law.
Unlike the other entries on this list, love bombing appears to be so pleasant and romantic at first, it is a particularly insidious kind of emotional manipulation. Who wouldn’t want to be the object of so many compliments, gifts, and affection?
Someone who shows an excessive quantity of admiration is said to be “love bombing.” love bombing can be used to soften the partner up so that he won’t object when they are being manipulated in other ways. After a time of the abuse, when an abuser tries to “atone” for their actions, love bombing is common.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you know if you’re being Gaslighted?
Emotionally manipulative persons frequently employ gaslighting as a technique. It focuses on emotional wear and tears by having you evaluate your thoughts, current events, and recollections. You’ll notice an increase in tension and a consequent drop in confidence if you’re being gaslighted.
Is manipulating someone illegal?
Manipulation is, in fact, against the law. The hard thing is that while the evidence of manipulation are frequently subtle, it can be difficult for prosecutors to detect them. As a result, interacting with emotionally manipulative persons may be challenging. The evidence is frequently inconclusive, making it difficult to prove in court.